


I was never the one for you

by TheRecordBreaker



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Break Up, Cheating, Honestly no idea, Kinda, M/M, sad stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 21:59:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8684971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRecordBreaker/pseuds/TheRecordBreaker
Summary: Betrayal was what Leo felt, his heart broken not just by a guy he was in love with, but also by, as he once believed, a true friend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> After months and deleted works and some more months I'm back.   
> I'm sorry honestly. 
> 
> This is something I wrote today because today was sad and I needed to get some things off my chest and it's kinds personal as well and I don't even know just try to enjoy it? It's been months so idk really. 
> 
> Also I know that there are many cheating fics but just yeah it is what it is.

It was hard to breathe and even harder to move. There were hot tears spilling from his dark eyes.   
He doesn't really know for how long he's been sitting on the couch in the dark but he could see the first peaks of sunrise so it must've been long. 

The house was empty and quiet and it made him sick. He felt sick in his stomach and his heart ached.   
He didn't know what he needed at the moment. Didn't know if he needed love and someone who could tell him that he's their whole world and apologize and promise that it's always been only him and no one else or maybe he needed that someone to tell him the truth, to look into his eyes and say that 'yes, you were never the one'. That would cause so much pain because although he already knew the truth, to hear it would make it hurt even more.

He doubted that he would cry, he didn't think so at least because one- he didn't know if he would have tears left as he's been crying for hours now, holding in stupid sobs and small gasps and two- maybe the pain would be a lot larger than tears. Maybe it would be silence. Maybe it would just be a nod and a tightly pressed lips. But he was sure that something inside him would break and he was sure that that would be the last piece of his heart shattering into small pieces that would fly around and smash into others creating more pain and perhaps tears. 

During the first hour of his sad sitting on the couch and overthinking, he actually held onto some hope. That he was wrong and that the person he loved was wrong and that it was all a huge mistake and everything was a mistake expect for them because they had promised each other to love and cherish till death do them apart although they also promised each other an even better life after death and of course that they'd spent that one together as well. So hope was there during the first hour of small tears running down his cheeks and they didn't stop although he tried to wipe them away angrily.   
Because there had been hope.

During the second hour he bit his lip and then he could taste his own blood and it made him close his eyes. The tears seemed to have a track now but he wasn't a mess yet. Not yet.   
In his mind there was no hope and every time he glanced at his ring it seemed to laugh at him as if saying 'you really thought that you'd always be the one?'  
That caused the ring to fly across the room and smash against the wall only to fall and roll under the table.   
Also caused the small man to get on the floor, to take the ring into his palm and press his lips against it muttering 'it can't be' and 'it'll be okay'. He didn't know if it was meant for the ring- a promise that the ring will stay in his old place on his finger. Or a promise to himself that maybe after a while this will all end and he'll be just as happy as when the ring first showed up on his finger. He has slipped it back on.

During the third hour he thought about ignoring everything. Acting like he hadn't found out that the love of his whole life is kissing someone else, acting like it didn't matter and that it would be okay. Because they promised each other right? They have those rings on their fingers right? 

He remembers the way he pulled that ring on his finger. The other person doesn't have that doesn't he? They don't share a house and a lot of memories, maybe only hotel rooms and late night moans. They don't have family dinners,maybe only order in's that stay on the bedside table because of equal distraction and end up in the trash anyway. They don't share late night kisses or maybe they do, maybe that's exactly what they share. And it's not only kisses, he knows it's a lot more than that. Maybe it was sex, just casual sex not love making, maybe it didn't mean a thing. Maybe the love of his life only met him once and it was a weak moment but that would also be a lie. Because they didn't meet up once. It's been going on for months and he doesn't know what to do.

 

During the fourth hour he thought how he found out. How his friends eyes had sympathy and sadness in them when he told him what he had heard and had asked about. He had been happy this morning, his friend had called saying that it was urgent and he had no clue how it's going to turn out in the end.   
He didn't know that he'd be sitting in a cafe, while his friend rubbed his back, not telling him a thing because there wasn't much to say anyway. He had hid his face in his hands as if he was ashamed to admit that it seems like he wasn't enough for his husband, for the love of his life. His friend told him 'maybe I shouldn't have told you' while holding him close but he had shook his head. If not now then when? 

During the fifth hour he thought about calling the same friend but what's there left to say or do? Maybe he could've asked for advice but there wasn't much to figure either. 'Leave him' and 'you haven't done anything wrong, I promise you'. Those were the words he already had heard while sitting in that small cafe. (He remembers them having their fourth date there, he had brought him roses and it was so good and so pure. And he had been so happy). Anyone else wouldn't have given a second thought, they would've entered their home and went up straight to their closet- taken all their stuff, taken everything they need and left for good. But he didn't know if he was strong enough, if he wanted to leave because the thoughts of hope still lingered while the other side only could mutter disapproving words. 

And now he didn't know. If he should get up, take his stuff and leave or wait for his significant other to come back and face him. A part of him knew that, there was a chance that he would fake a smile and say that it's okay, that it's something else and that those tear tracks aren't because of him.   
But for how long could he hold on? Not for long that's for sure. 

It wasn't easy to get up but he did it. Crossed the room slowly because knowing where he's going and what he's about to do hurt.   
When he got to the wardrobe and opened their shared closet, more tears came because there were clothes that had memories and it hurt, he pressed his forehead against the wall next to the closet and sobbed softly but that was still the only thing that could be heard in the whole house. 

The front door opened when he had packed his bag that had clothes for a week in it. He had tried to pick clothes that meant nothing, that didn't have memories. He had texted his friend if he can crash at his place for a few nights and somehow gotten an immediate reply with a small 'yes' and 'do you need me to pick you up?' 

He was about to type that it was okay, that it didn't matter that he had blurry eyes and that he could barely move, that he can drive but a text came that said 'I'll be there in ten minutes'   
He had already walked downstairs, ignoring all the framed small pictures that he had picked out, ignoring the living room. He had made his way to the small garderobe when the front door had opened. And unfortunately his friend didn't have a spare key so the only person that could be there was the one who was to be blamed for the ache in his heart. Or at least the ache in the small bits of his shattered heart. 

There had been quiet footsteps and at first he had wanted to run but the light was switched on and he was exposed with a bag in his hand, messy hair and red, puffy eyes. 

 

The love of his life was standing there, looking amazing as ever, wearing a black coat that was open exposing a white button up shirt and black jeans.   
He lowered his head as he started to shake. He wasn't ready to face him yet. Why did his husband decide on coming home from that hotel earlier tonight? A part of him hoped that it was guilt that made him come back now right now but the other part screamed 'coincidence'. 

"Leo?" 

The love of his life's voice was raspy and deep. He closed his eyes and tears spilled again and he desperately wanted to get out of there because it was getting hard to breathe again. 

When he felt hands on his chin, lifting his head up, he tried to hold his breath at least because his husband smelled different, there was this cologne that wasn't his. 

"What has happened to you, mi vida?" The Portuguese man sounded worried and surprised and Leo finally opened his eyes only to be met by different chocolate ones. And even though the other man tried to act confused, his eyes slowly filled with realization. The smaller man knew him so good, not like the other person who's probably still sleeping in the white hotel room sheets in the room that his husband had probably paid for. 

Leo stared at him and there were even more tears and silence. None of them said a thing. Leo didn't say anything because he was speechless, he was hurt and he couldn't. It was too hard. 

"Leo? Talk to me, amor mío" he whispered and pulled Leo close, crashing the smaller mans face against his neck. Right into the awful cologne that wasn't Cristiano's. 

Leo soaked his coat with tears but kept silent because his husband was lying again, acting like he didn't know, acting like nothing has happened during the past months. And all Leo's thoughts had vanished and there was just pain and numbness. 

Cristiano slowly pulled him back and looked into his eyes again.   
"Amor?" He asked and Leo couldn't anymore. He started sobbing loudly, covering his mouth with his free hand. His eyes closed and tears continued to roll. 

Pain. That's all it was.

Cristiano took ahold of him and tried to drag him to the bathroom or the bedroom maybe so he could calm down but Leo didn't let him. He fought back and slipped down on the floor right in front of Cristiano, his bag next to him. 

"Leo please" he heard him whisper but he just shook his head, his hair was in his eyes and he couldn't see his husband properly but he didn't know if he wanted to.

"I wasn't enough for you" he let out and it came out shaky, small and so so painful. 

Leo kept sitting on the floor, eyes closed, tears rolling.   
His mind was now full again, memories rushing back and felt the damn ring against his face, the ring that was meant for him only and it felt so heavy. Too heavy on his finger.   
He removed his hands slowly from his face and opened his eyes. His hands were shaking madly and Cristiano was in front of him, on his knees, right on the floor.   
He tried to say something but Leo's next movement made him close his mouth.

His shaky fingers reached for his wedding ring and he slowly took it off. It felt like he took of a part of his life with it. The ring was proof that they had each other, that they were meant to be together...

He reached out with his smaller hand for Cristiano's and placed it in his palm, then closed Cristiano's fingers around it. 

When he met the others eyes he was met by regret and sadness. And he couldn't mutter a word because what was there left to say? 

Leo removed his hand slowly and bit his lip so he wouldn't let out a sound. It hurt too much. 

He slowly got up, his knees were shaking and everything was blurry while Cristiano stayed on the floor now looking at Leo's weeding ring that he held.   
It was silent. 

"Leo I love you" he said suddenly and painfully making the smaller man sob and shake his head. Cristiano was looking up at him, tears rolling down his own cheeks and Leo had always thought that Cris was too pretty to cry. 

 

Betrayal was what Leo felt, his heart broken not just by a guy he was in love with, but also by, as he once believed, a true friend.

 

"You don't destroy people you love" he said quietly and then added "I don't know if you love me still or if that was another lie coming out of your mouth." 

Cristiano stared at him. Both of them cried quietly while staring at each other. Was this their way of saying goodbye?

"And it hurts Cris" he says and his voice is broken and its pain, it's only pain that's heard. "It hurts because I gave you all of me and I love you and-" he couldn't finish his sentence. His vision was blurry again. 

Leo took a deep breath.  
"- and this is it" he said. "I want you to be happy so I'm setting you free"

"Leo-"

"-you don't have to hide or lie anymore, you're free" Leo said as he stared into Cristiano's eyes.  
Cristiano launched forward and wrapped his arms around Leo's waist, pressing his face against Leo's stomach and soaking it. 

"Leo you can't-" he murmured against Leo's stomach while the smaller man stared down at him. Some of his tears landed on Cristiano's hair and the Portuguese felt like they were burning.

"I told you that I always want you to be happy and if this is it-" he swallowed "-then I have to accept it. I wasn't enough-"

"You were more than enough Leo please" The arms tightened around his waist and it was getting hard to breathe again. 

"Let me go Cristiano please" Leo asked the man who refused to move. "Don't make this harder for both of us please" 

He needed to get out of here. He had to. It was too much, the pain was getting unbearable and he wanted to scream. 

"I won't, I can't. I-" his husband tried to mutter something else, say something else but it was gone, it was a lost cause. Leo's heart was sinking. 

Cristiano's arms slowly dropped by his sides. He looked up once again. 

"I'm sorry"

When Leo exited the house, rushing down the steps with tears flowing, Cristiano stayed on the floor in their shared house.   
It was empty and quiet, Cris felt cold.

He lost the only part of his life that made it worth living.

**Author's Note:**

> so that's that.  
> If you want to see a chapter two (because I'm not sure yet) or have any ideas leave a comment.


End file.
